Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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