just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
