Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
