party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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