Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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