I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
