so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
