using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
