you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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