Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
