hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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