yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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