I am puke
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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