If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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