im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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