2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
