I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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