I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
