She said her name was "party"
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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