why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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