is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
