Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
