come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
you never un-have a 4some
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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