Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
