i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
