id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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