do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
