best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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