He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
