Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
