why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
