It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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