i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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