I puked a lego.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
