my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
