he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
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