one might say we're banned from that church
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
