i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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