Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He? As in you personified your dick?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
