I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
dude i'm inner monologue high
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
