I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Someone came in the potted fern
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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