I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
