you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
