I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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