I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
