Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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