Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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