You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
