Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
