I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
