so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
