I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
