i would punch a child for taco bell
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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